My past does not define me.
Traveled from D.C. to the Mojave and back... D.C. is always where my heart will belong. Called home for a reason right?
Now you just gonna stare or do something productive?
[Independent RP Fallout based OC blog.]
Face claim: Lady gaga

"I-I’d hate t-ta say it could be worse…."

Sprawled over the bench where she laid originally for… Most likely a good chunk of the day. She wanted to just stay there… Stay and be comfortable for just a while. Sucking air through her teeth as she sighed before she did bend up slowly to peer over the side of it. 

Swore there was something there… Or maybe a shadow. 

  1 day ago reblog  

Daughter on her hip making fun with Sara’s hair again. Pulling on some of the strands or even chewing on them. It was all actions Sara was used to by now. Bobbing side to side as she did look out to the land. Trying to relax slightly with the person that… That kept her alive. That kept her more alive then ever. It was a bond that she was unable to explain to others. However it was something she always wished for. 

To have something that was special to her… 
That she could understand so easily. 
That other’s might not. 

  2 days ago reblog  

"Broken homes… Cause Broken hearts…"

Sai took a hand up to the mirror where there was that small image of Ava taped to the surface… And he couldn’t help but feel bad that there was so many feelings still attached to memories…

It felt wrong…

If he still thought it…

Means its been on their mind for a while.

  3 days ago reblog  
Artist: Nickelback
Album: Here And Now
Song: Lullaby
Plays: 71

Well I know the feelin'
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad
Take it from someone who's been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And you're not sure you can take this anymore

So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

(Source: iliveforthemusic96)


Alex raised an eyebrow. “I didn’ think people around here were on the spiritual side, got to admit”, he commented coolly. Given some of the things he was seeing lately, though, he wasn’t going to bother with skepticism at this point; there was no telling what he might come across round the next corner-not a reassuring thought. The woman didn’t seem to be listening to him, anyway, as her gaze was riveted to the photo in her hands still, as if she was trying to will it to talk to her.


Alex was already working out how to cut the body down when she finally pocketed the picture. “I think there was somethin’ written in the back; of that photo”, he pointed out, recalling the black markings he’d barely really noticed as he watched the woman handle it.

He made a face at her advice. “Yeah, gross; thanks for the warnin’”, he huffed, taking the knife to the noose around the man’s throat; the body fell to the ground with a dull thump-nothing falling off, Alex thought thankfully. “So what do we do with him? An’ for the record, I’m not hungry”, he jested grimly, as he returned her knife to her. 

 ”Doesn’t matter… D-Depends only on wh-what ya think… It’s ya own life right? I-If ya can’t believe in it… W-Why live it… It…. It would be sad… R-Really sad…” That feeling of lying to herself. It wasn’t a great sensation but it was there. Trying to make herself in a roundabout way to feel better… At one point there was a friend who found her in a position that no one ever should… Would Sara ever know if that woman was ever going to think of that day again? Maybe in a way of wishing they left her to die?

Hell, it didn’t matter. 

It didn’t anymore. 

She left. 

She is okay now. 

Markings? Just looking toward the other at the word before she put two and two together. It might be a name? Her hand rushed back to her pocket before she did try to move around slowly hoping to catch one of the rays of light peaking through the wall to be able to read the picture. “Uh name…. Maybe……. I-I can see half of it… Ma…. Ma something….” Feeling her shoulders tense up. “W-Would be so g-great if e-everywhere h-had uh nice light t-ta flip on l-like bu-bullshit casinos do….” Muttering under her breath as she did take herself toward the desk hoping to move something off the wall… Wait was this a desk? It was awful big to be for personal use. 

"W-Was th-there uh sign outside wh-when ya came in h-here?"

Glaring toward the other at the remark over the meal. “I-I prefer my own fresh… B-Blood packs maybe… S-Still beatin’ sh-shit… Y-Ya would be surprised at how w-well some animals blood tastes.” Emphaizing every word that came out of her mouth trying to still give off an air that she may or may not be serious… But at this point she wasn’t fully sure if she cared. He hadn’t attacked her yet over the things she was saying. “C-Can ya see properly wh-what he is wearin’? Jus’…..”

(Source: housewifestrife)



Lir arched a rather interested eyebrow. “Hmm…that sounds enticing, actually”, she  smiled faintly. “I might just take you up on that offer, though I’m more of a chocolate kind of girl”, she continued, coughing a bit as they entered the next room, dust rising up to greet  them. She quickly mimicked Sara’s gesture, putting a hand over her nose; dust didn’t really bother her, but it could get into her eyes and nose and distract her when she needed her full attention.

The unexpected sound made her jump, instantly reaching for her pulse rifle as instinct took over. “I’ve no idea”, she murmured to Sara, “but it’s coming from one of the next rooms. Safe to assume our presence hasn’t gone unnoticed”.


"Phf…" Making a light noise with her mouth as she looked back at the other. Rolling her eyes to the side slowly. While Sara has gotten to have chocolate before it was one of the things she was not even fully sure on how it was made. Surely some of the stuff she had… Had to have been made by people’s hands right? "I-I need ta r-remember t-ta search fo-for uh cookbook… D-Doubtful ch-chocolate will ever b-be made by muh own hands…. Sorry." Scrunching her nose up slightly with a grin before her heart skipped over another beat.

Shaking fingers…
Heart beat in her ear…

She wasn’t used to this feeling anymore. Far to long getting to relax with her little girl at home… Fuck…. What happens if she died out here? Would Magdelena even remember her? She’s to young. Lir’s voice brought herself back forward to the world around her. Slowly however Sara did move toward the door hand out to at least see if the door was locked and it hit her like a gunshot, the noise. A bang against the door and the door not moving shy of causing dust to fall to the ground, over where Sara now sat on the ground staring at the door. Banging picking up and the sounds of grunting. Opening her mouth to try to speak… To whisper and instead she found her hand going out to grab onto Lir’s pant leg. Something. It was something to keep her there to the real world instead of the wandering… Can’t do it.

(Source: housewifestrife)



Cerus shot her a downright teasing grin. “Yes, of course; I’m duly on my toes, not to worry”, he said playfully. “And she is doing just fine, so no need for you not to relax, now is there?”he asked her smoothly, though she made herself even more comfortable where she lay. “I could carry her over to you, though, if you’d like; so you can nap together?”he offered. It sounded like a good idea, and Maggie did seem to be getting sleepy-or so he thought, at least, but he wasn’t going to ask Sara to confirm it, it’d defeat the purpose of her relaxing. 

And then she sat up abruptly at his next words; Cerus sighed to himself, slightly concerned-had he said the wrong thing again? He seemed to do that sometimes, far too often around Sara, to be sure. “She did”, he nodded anyway, because he was sure he wasn’t wrong in this.”You’re a survivor, Sara, there’s no doubt in my mind as to that; of course your daughter would be strong”, he smiled faintly, as she lay back down again, taking the box of dates with her.

"Dates are…small sweet fruit", he explained, dodging the question about his travelling for the moment. "They’re picked off palm trees, dried and then eaten; but when mixed with honey and nuts they become a delicacy very common and liked…back home". Yes, that last part got away from him, he sighed to himself. "And I I know you like sweets, so why not bring some", he grinned, plucking a date from the box to hand to Maggie who had come closer, clearly curious.The dates were so soft, they melted in the mouth and had no seed in the middle, so it was reasonably safe for her to eat.

"No offense however…I-I know many men wh-who need to be reminded a-again and aga-again th-that they can get into uh l-lot of trouble b-by not li-listenin’." Tilting her head to the side with a small snort leaving her nose before she took a hand up away from the box of dates. Still not taking one up to her lips quite yet. A story… What they are… "Hmmmm? Oh… Sure… I-I am sure she would love t-ta fall asleep in ya own arms as much as m-mine… M’there every night…. I-I do mean it wh-when I-I say she likes ya…. I-If it makes ya feel any better… S-Second she gotta see her D-Daddy for th-tha first time after she was born she smucked him i-in th-tha face… Y-Ya got one o-on him y-ya haven’t been hit y-yet."

Trying to keep a smile away from her lips as she did move the date box to sit on her thigh so if the other did hand her her daughter she would be able to take her and allow the child to lean on her without hopefully taunting the poor girl with the sweets.

"M’not su-sure if ya’d understand bu-but… I-I made muhself survive… As uh punishment so-sometimes… I-It would have been so eas-easy ta let it go any ot-other way…" Turning her head to see her daughter’s blue eyes staring toward her. "N-No matter her age… S-Suppose no on-one wants t-ta hear th-their Momma talk l-like that… S-Sometimes… I-I swear sh-she heard my crying wh-when I-I was pregnant…. Muh fears… T-That way…. S-She is like her Daddy…. Jus’ kn-knowin’ wh-when somethin’ isn’t right." Smiling lightly as a garbled mess of a word came from Magdelena’s lips. MaaaaaMa…. A wet mixture of a word with the sugared snack that she had been gumming away at.

Looking back down at the box on her lap before she did open it once again. A feeling settling in the back of her mind that she needed to do something back for Cerus since he brought her these… Now she just had to be brave enough to actually try it. The fear most any person had at times, liking it and not having a way to get more later. “A-An’ wh-what if I-I like’em…. A-An’ bug y-ya everytime I-I see ya ta get me more…. Or bringing me th-things ta try ta make’em m-muhself… Taking a single piece in her hands ready to eat before she did open her mouth once to say something before closing her mouth slowly before she looked back toward the other from her laying spot. 

Taking a deep breath… “Sorry if… Jus’… I-I had things uh while back th-that I-I got in uh place where… W-Well it w-was where I-I got muh lovely scars on muh face… J-Jus’… Th-There was things l-like taffy an-an’ cakes an-and…. Iunno if y-ya get wh-what I’m t-tryin’ ta say.”

(Source: housewifestrife)

"Better late th-then never…. Right?"

  1 week ago reblog  


Caps? Bottle caps? Luckily, the woman couldn’t see the look she was currently making. It was one of pure horror and disgust. Were they really that primitive in this…world? But, it made no sense! Here they were, able to have technology like slugthrowers, robots, and other things recognizable by her, but they used bottle caps as a standard of currency? What, why, and how? “I’m…” She was flat-footed with her normal cynicism and wit. “Credits…” Reaching into a belt-pouch, she held up a few credit chips for her to take a look at. “You’re telling me…you’ve never seen these in your life?” No way this was even Tatooine. Even people on that planet were this backwards. Even the Sand People had some form of familiarity. “Forget it.” After pocketing the chip, she patted herself down, making sure everything was in it’s place. “My armor has temperature control, so, I’ll be fine. You? Doubt it. Lead on.”

 Raising her upper lip toward the other as the word credits came out of her mouth again. A credit was a thing that some… Well she heard some NCR talk about it on the strip maybe? It didn’t seem like such a foreign word to be used with money but the common person now used bottle caps either way… “C-Closest th-thing around h-here ta th-that I-I guess is uh poker chip?” Maybe? Well it sounded good, at this rate however this was going to lead to a screaming match if- What? “A-An’ wh-what happens wh-when that suit breaks… R-Rarely people a-around here w-wears full armor like that… Dust is uh h-hell of uh th-thing ta get out of anythin’…” Crossing her arms over her chest as she rolled her eyes. “Come on e-either way… I-I Can hold muh own…” Doubtful this one could in many places either way. Oh how fun it would be to run into a deathclaw at just the right moment, maybe she will poke it with a stick and expect it to not attack her.

tags → #silentsxrcxsm 

Turning up his head to stare at the air above him. It seemed… Relaxing compared to what was around him… What could be around him. Taking a hand down and running it through his hair slowly before he did turn his head slowly to see where he had walked from before he did scale his way up a half downed tree.

A nap in a tree was one of the best things that he could come across to relax. 

"And it’s getting better and better.

  1 week ago reblog  
Artist: Three Days Grace - The High Road
Album: Three Days Grace - The High Road
Song: Three Days Grace - The High Road
Plays: 407

I told you I was hurt
Bleeding on the inside
I told you I was lost
In the middle of my life

There’s times I stayed alive for you
There’s times I would’ve died for you
There’s times it didn’t matter at all

Will you help me find the right way up
Or let me take the wrong way down
Will you straighten me out
Or make me take the long way around
I took the low road in
I’ll take the high road out
I’ll do whatever it takes
To be the mistake you can’t live without

(Source: ssophoo)

Laughing as she sat in the tree. Comfortable as she was there not because it was a place she would enjoy to sit but it was more of a place that she enjoyed because of the feelings it would bring up in her… 

A love for trees did start so very young…

A safe feeling. 

It was far to strange to describe.

  1 week ago reblog  


They were titles used to express respect, ground from childhood and reinforced in the military, and though unfitting to some, especially women, they were never uttered with form of offense. 

"I am afraid I do not know your name, ma—" Oh. There it was, well that sure made things easier. ”— Sara.”


"I should apologize for that." He spoke with a soft smile in an attempt to lower what had appeared to have take the route towards a slightly awkward situation for his own part, and which accompanied the white-haired woman’s own grin, though his was perhaps not as forced.

"Th-That isn’t a great th-thing to say about one’s self…"

"Excuse me?"

"…N-no one is bland…"

The comment had come unexpected, and though he in that moment and in his own mind did not exactly believed on it, and in truth held a deep desire to not be anything else but bland and attract unwanted attention to his own person, took that small part as a compliment — a strange one — but nice words that were rare out in such a world, especially from strangers.

"Ah—well I suppose, but sometimes that is better. Getting overlooked by others attracts less attention and that in turns brings less problems, and we all know how just about everyone is out seeking that. I wouldn’t want a bullet shot my way for wanting something I own or the likes, know what I mean?"

  Sara did take a hand up slowly into her hair and then using that same hand to rub slowly at the side of her face. “Ya goin’ ta repay th-tha same favor an-and say ya own?” Names were far to important to Sara to just be dribbled over quickly like rain against tree leaves.

That same hand that was up in her hair not a few seconds ago did dot her mouth slowly. “T-That sounds bet-better then bein’ so formal… M-Makes one sound o-older th-then they really are.” As if she really wished to be thought of as that old even if it is just a mistake or two to think over it. 

"Wh-What I-I said I-I meant…I have spent to lo-long muhself thinkin’ l-like th-that… A-And I-i Found out th-that it was…Uh horrible w-way ta think… E-Everyone is special… N-No one is as bl-bland as th-they think th-they are….. Y-Ya are talkin’ t-ta uh lady wh-who has white hair…… I-If th-that says much?"

Ending her words with a small smile as she looked at the other. Years of thinking that she wasn’t special… She would lie if she said she didn’t think it again from time to time but she knew that she was lying to herself now when she was at her best. A sickly vampire who can’t handle her blood very well… Now that was just asking to be someone who is different and not the bland woman she mistakes herself for in her lows. 

"People al-always want wh-what others have though… T-That is tha biggest re-reason for gettin’ uh bullet ta yaself… Or frustration over a subject or two… I-I know th-that one far to well…"

A hand of hers absentmindedly going up to the bullet scar on her arm. Simple graze but… Didn’t mean it still didn’t bother her even though she didn’t leave on bad terms with the person who did it to her. 



Send me ): and I’ll draw your muse with a sad expression

tags → #ahhh thank you